Accident Prone

Absent blogger returns with seething rage at local publication.

2009-08-07T11:14:00.003-05:00

Minneapolis nuisances: Ten criminals who won't go away

This article made me throw-up in my mouth a little.

City Pages, do you think it's going to increase your readership by dehumanizing some of the most pitiable people in our community? People who deal with serious addiction and mental health issues? Who are frequently targeted by police simply because they look homeless and dirty?

Your cute little nicknames made me nauseous. "King Listerine" to describe a man so addcted to alcohol he drinks mouthwash? "Hot Lips" to describe a human being whose crack addiction is so strong he has scarred his lips by burning his lips on his make-shift crack pipe? Saying that someone who breaks into and sleeps in other peoples cars "doesn't exactly leave a "new-car" smell"? I cannot even tell you how disgusting that is.

Are you so yuppied and unfeeling that this passes as a genuine story? Using the same light-hearted tone you use for articles on douchebags and local bands? Ugh. Stick to your lists about where to go biking in St. Paul and the best places for a first date in Minneapolis. Because you're a giant FAIL at any sort of real journalism.

I have represented many of these "nuisances" in my career as a public defender. They are not horrible people. They are the forgotten. The people our society has failed. Your article does nothing to indicate the reason these people are where they are. Each one of them has a story. A real story. Your article has no indication as to possible causes or solutions to these "chronic offenders." Currently, the city's solution is to lock them up for the most miniscule of crimes for as long as possible. I strongly urge your writers to follow me or one of my colleagues for one day in misdemeanor arraignments where they can meet these people face-to-face. I guarantee they would not be so light-hearted in their descriptions in the future.

Voicemail of the day

2009-02-19T15:31:00.002-06:00

"Uh, hi. It's me. Can you reschedule my court date? Sigh. Today is just not my day."

Uh, who are you?

First post of 2009

2009-01-14T08:25:00.002-06:00

The end of 2008 was unbelievably busy. A hiring freeze for public defenders has meant that we're understaffed and overworked. Considering the county attorney's office has been hiring more and more prosecutors (including some PDs from my office), I think that is patently unfair.

I managed to sneak away for the holidays to be with my family in Arizona. I could really see myself living there (aside from the uber hot summers). The people were really nice and friendly (and really good-looking). Because I could hit up the Lifetime gym there, I really found myself getting into a comfortable routine - gym in the morning followed by coffee and checking work-emails and doing some trial prep until noon... And all without wearing a winter coat.

Now I'm back in Minnesota, where my eyelashes are freezing on my walk to and from work. I even have to wear glasses when outside to avoid a recent rash of contact-freezing (and yes, I mean freezing on my eyeball). I am leaving for NYC on friday where I'll get to see my sister for a few days before getting on the train for Washington, DC. That's right, I'm one of the crazy buffoons who want to see this historic Inauguration. I've been looking for tickets, but my search has been crazy frustrating. I couldn't get any out of my representatives. I almost had one, but the chick was trying to sell hers to the highest bidder. I have one more possible slim, slim, slim chance, but I doubt that will come through.

Anyone out there want to take pity on me and a friend and give me your extra Inaugural tickets? I'll be your best friend... Or promise never to speak to you again (whichever you prefer).

I got a $15 gift certificate to the Landmark Grill!

2008-12-06T17:33:00.003-06:00

Thursday morning started out as a good day. I just returned from a trip to Arizona where I spent a few days walking, swimming, and eating under a 75-degree cloudless sky. I walked to work bundled up to face the 16-degree morning. Listening to a podcast and carrying my home-brewed coffee, I sauntered the 3 blocks to work and got into the elevator. I pressed "14" and listened to Peter Segal tell Chris Paul that he thought he could take him in basketball as the elevator doors closed and the car began to move upward.

1...DING...2...DING...3...DING - nothing out of the ordinary until - ...6...DING...7...

The elevator stopped. Then it started shaking. Then it fell an inch or two down the elevator shaft before it started moving up again. I was concerned, but I thought it was a passing fluke and all would be fine.

...12...DING...13... The elevator stopped again. I waited a few seconds. The elevator shot up to 14, almost to 15, back down to 14 where it stopped. The "14" button was no longer lit. I waited for the doors to open. The car started shaking again. And then it fell a few inches and shot back up again. I screamed. Every time it shook and fell, I felt as if I was hurtling to my death 14-floors down. I pressed the door open button - the elevator car door opened, but the corresponding doors on 14 didn't. As I stared at the closed doors, the car started to shake again. Now I was starting to freak out. I pressed the alarm button, nothing happened. My heart started to race as I looked for the phone. In my panic, my eyes didn't see the tiny nob with a phone symbol on it indicating the door for the phone.

I started kicking the door screaming "Help! I'm stuck in the elevator!" The car shook and then fell again. I screamed and fumbled for my cell phone. I dialed 9-1-1. The operator couldn't hear me because the reception in the elevator was bad. After listening to the woman unresponsively say "Hello? Hello? Is someone there" to my cries for help I hung up. The elevator shook again. Fingers shaking, I dialed the numbers again and this time she could hear me, but by now I was so frazzled I could barely get out my words between tearful gasps. "I'm...sob...stuck...sob..in the elevator...sob..and I think it's going to fall!"

As I was talking I kept thinking about all the 911-calls I've listened to and how incoherant I would sound if they replayed it. The operator was soothing, getting the address of the building so she could send the fire department out to get me. As I was giving her the information I heard a voice outside the elevator, "Is someone in there?" I instantly recognized the motherly voice as one of our administrative staff. I screamed, "Yes! It's Mariam! I'm stuck! It keeps shaking and I think it's going to fall!" She told me that the elevator people knew and were coming to work on it. I told the 911 operator they were working on it - she kindly offered to stay on the line to calm me down and I told her it was ok (I lied) and hung up the phone.

After a few minutes, I eventually heard the voice of a man telling me that they were working on it. He told me not to worry about falling, that the elevator was rigged to catch every few inches and I would not fall. As I waited, I suddenly became excruciatingly hot and took off my jacket. As soon as I did that, the elevator shook and fell again then shot up again. I screamed as my stomach fell into my feet. The guy said "Don't scream, you'll be fine!" I kept thinking, you sit in here when this tiny box of death shakes and falls and tell me if you think you'll be fine!

Shaking and crying, I sat on the floor of the elevator to try and calm down. A few minutes later, the door opened. I saw three people standing there - my motherly co-worker, another secretary in my office, and the strange man. As soon as she saw my tear-stained face, the secretary started crying. Then I started crying again. The strange man took my hand to help me up and out of the elevator car and I collapsed on the shoulder of my motherly co-worker and cried for a few seconds. Once I calmed down, the man introduced himself and re-explained how I wasn't in danger. I was just glad to be out and alive. I thanked him and got some kleenex to wipe my face. I checked my office mailbox then took the *stairs* down to 11 where my office is.

The upshot? Out of guilt, or perhaps fear of litigation, the building manager came to my office and gave me a $15 gift certificate to the Landmark Grill.

How do you say "bummed" in Thai?

2008-11-26T10:05:00.004-06:00

For the past 6 months, my mom and I have been planning to go to Bangkok, Thailand together. She has a meeting there and I wanted to tag along. It would be our first mother-daughter solo international travel experience and I was SO excited! Bought the guidebook. Got the shots. Borrowed books to read on the plane. Got advice on things to do.

Then yesterday, things got ugly in Bangkok. Protests at the airport, blasts, flights cancelled both in and out of the country, civil unrest, random violence... Did I mention we're supposed to leave Saturday? Now my mom thinks we should cancel the trip. My mom who has traveled everywhere from China to Iran thinks maybe we should sit this one out. No decisions have been made yet. I'm still holding onto hope.

What do you think we should do?

POLL REMOVED: Fate decided for us - no flights in, no flights out. We stay. Boo.

Dayman!

2008-11-23T20:20:00.002-06:00

It has been so busy at the PDs office that I haven't even had the downtime to reflect to compose a blog post in a looong time. After reading comments on my last post, I was feeling really frustrated, but then I remembered what always puts me in a better mood. And so I share it with you:

Sing with me!

Another friendly reminder to the private defense bar

2008-10-30T10:41:00.002-05:00

Dear Private Attorney,

I know you think you know more than I do. Hell, maybe you do. I know that you think dispensing legal advice without, oh I don't know, "reading the file" or "knowing about what the evidence is" is a good idea.

In the future, if you're not going to do either of those things, please do not tell my already deluded client that he "should be able to get" a misdemeanor disposition from a felony. Or else, take the damn case and get what he "should be able to get" for him. Oh wait, what? You can't/won't/don't have a valid legal license to do so? Then shut the f&*$ up!

Warmest Regards,
Mariam

I'm going going, back to Sconnie Sconnie

2008-10-24T13:04:00.001-05:00

For the first time since graduating in 2005, I'm going back for a weekend in Madison! I'm excited to see the old haunts and root the Badgers on to victory against Illinois!

Peace the spork out.

Domestic Court: the remix

2008-10-21T16:07:00.003-05:00

Inspired by Blonde Justice and her mix tape, I had to make one too. Every so often, I'd like to make a mix tape inspired by what I do. And after fter spending the last two days in domestic arraignments, here's what I've come up with:

Any other PD's with inspiration? Give me an idea for a mixtape! Otherwise... Enjoy :)

Will the true American please stand up?

2008-10-19T12:18:00.004-05:00

I don't care which party you affiliate with - this is an abomination:

We are a country founded on the marketplace of ideas. What makes this country amazing is that people are allowed to have different opinions. They are to be discussed, vetted, and exhausted so that the American public can be comprehensively informed.

You say it's un-American to be liberal? It's un-American to have a different viewpoint from your own extreme view? For shame Michelle, it is you who is un-American. You define McCarthyism: questioning a person's patriotism, making baseless accusations, and using fear to try and conform people's ideas to your own. Replace the word "Communist" with the word "terrorist" and I don't think I could tell the difference between you and Joseph McCarthy.

I hope you lose your seat in Congress this November. By insinuating that the some of the people whom you are supposed to represent in your district are un-American, you no longer deserve it.

Otho Update

2008-09-25T20:11:00.002-05:00

Since the racial slur and violent outburst was used by an employee at Otho toward one of its patrons, I have an update on what has occurred:

That evening, my friend called the manager at Otho detailing what occurred and said he would like an official apology.
Also that evening, one of my co-workers stayed behind at Otho to discuss the incident.
The next evening, that same co-worker went back to Otho to speak to management. They indicated that they were trying to decide how to handle the situation. The offending bartender was on the premises, still working behind the bar.
The following week, another friend wrote Otho indicating her disgust at the incident and how she had several bad run-ins with that same bartender. She indicated she would no longer be patroning that establishment.
That Tuesday, Otho sent my friend an email saying they were going to speak with the offending bartender that night and would let him know what occurred.

More than a week since Otho claimed it would speak to the offending bartender and two weeks from the incident, no apology has been issued to my friend. At this point, I can only assume it will never come.

As I passed by Otho on my way home from work today I saw none other than the offending bartender, still employed and working behind the bar.

So, today I'm 29...

2008-09-18T10:27:00.002-05:00

...And I'm still waiting to be taken out, Logan's Run style.

I am definitely happier one year away from leaving my twenties than I was one year into them. I think your 20's are this crazy time of self-discovery where you finally nail down your personality (if it wasn't already determined by a superlative vote in high school - I got most dramatic and best hair). You learn to take things in stride a lot better, let go the little things that get you down, and surround yourself with the most amazing people you can.

I consider myself very lucky on this birthday and I look forward to 30. (And yes, I realize I'm saying this now and not in 2009 when I'll again be iterating that I'm turing 29 and deleting this post to hide the evidence of my actual age).

Restaurant Experience: Otho

2008-09-17T13:12:00.007-05:00

Do not go to Otho.

I'm not talking about the food, the drinks, or the decor. The reason you should not go there is much more serious.

Background: My good friend Imran and I threw a party at our building last Friday night. It was 80's themed with costumes, decorations, and a professional DJ. Many people we work with celebrated with us - public defenders, private attorneys, city attorneys, county attorneys... It was a welcoming environment and everyone had a blast. We even worked out a deal with Otho for a late night happy hour special and 80's music for our guests starting at midnight after the party ended.

Background on Otho: It's located in the Skyscape Condominium complex. Considering both Grant Park Condos and Skyscape are full of young professionals adjacent to this restaurant, you would expect it to be constantly crowded. But it's not. Imran and I always tried to support business there. We had celebrated a birthday there. And Imran and his fiance had their engagement party there. We thought we were doing our local establishment good by bringing them our business.

What happened: At midnight, as we were cleaning up the party room, I received a phone call from one of my guests: "The bartender is saying there aren't any drink specials. He's being really rude about it." I walked over to try and clear up the problem. I walked toward the establishment and many of my other guests were standing outside talking about how rude the bartender was being to them. I walked inside and asked to speak to the manager. When I found her she indicated to me that now they were honoring the special and playing the music. I thought the problem was solved. I was excited because the wild party-goers had calmed down and now everyone was talking in different groups. No one was boisterous. No one was going nuts. And there were only 4 people in the entire bar that were not with our party.

When Imran came, he ordered a few shots for himself and two friends. The aforementioned bartender poured them and then printed up the bill. Imran was planning on spending more money, so he told him to hang on to it and he'd pay it. That was not good enough for the already angry bartender who continued to wag the bill in front of him to get him to pay immediately. Oblivious, Imran then went to grab the other two shot-takers to come to the bar. The bartender followed him with the bill in hand. He approached him and said:

"Hey, [racial slur] take your fucking shots and pay your bill!"

Imran was so shocked by this statement, he said, "What the fuck did you just say?" As words were exchanged, the bartender said, "If we were out on the street, I'd fucking kill you!" and proceeded to come from behind the bar in an aggressive manner. Several people were witnesses to the bartenders aggression. The manager grabbed me and told me that Imran had to be kicked out of the establishment. I saw the confrontation and went between everyone and grabbed Imran and said, "Let's get out of here." Once outside, I found out what happened and came in and told everyone who I brought to Otho that we were leaving and not giving them another cent of our money.

That bartender used a racial slur against my friend and threatened his life. The establishment kicked my friend out. That bartender was back at work at Otho the next night. I would not be surprised if he had a history of such behavior based on how he was acting to the patrons before he served Imran. To this date, no formal apology has been issued to Imran and as far as I know that bartender is still working there. The service industry is no place for racism or violence; and therefore, should have no place for Otho.

Do not go to Otho. If they are willing to keep such a person under their employ, they do not deserve your money or your time. And please, tell everyone you know.

Update: Both my friend and others have been in touch with management several times since this incident. One individual stayed after we all left that evening to speak with the manager and Imran himself called after he got home. As far as I know, no apology has been issued nor has there been any action taken against the bartender.

Awkward conversation du jour

2008-09-02T13:29:00.003-05:00

[Scene: Mariam at a swanky RNC party Sunday night speaking with a middle-aged doctor-turned-entrepreneur]

Dr. Businessman: Your dad works at the Mayo Clinic? I did my residency there. Your dad always worked with one of my professors. God, did I have the hots for Dr. XXXX. Man, was she hot!

Mariam: Uh, yeah. That's my mom.

The Trojan Horse

2008-08-29T10:09:00.006-05:00

Last night, Barack Obama accepted the Democratic Party nomination for president.

This morning, John McCain chose his running mate. Sorry, Tim Pawlenty, Johnny and his ingenious staff picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his potential second-in-command. You can grow your mullet back.

This could be a genius move on his part. This beauty-pagent winner with a beautiful smile is the Republican's answer to Hilary Clinton. Remember how you liked Hilary? Are you now irrationally dissolutioned with the DNC candidate even though they share very similar politics and would represent the same interests while in office? Yeah, forget all that, we've got a woman!

And this might work. The women who were indoctrinated by the Clinton campaign during the primary season into believing that the next president would be a woman could be swayed by the thought that a woman still could be president. Afterall, McCain is no spring chicken...

[Aide: It's freaking me out how much she reminds me of a brunette Cindy McCain... take a gander:

Do you see it too? Ok, I digress.]

Hilary Clinton supporters, the dissolutioned ones anyway, are intelligent people. Hopefully their disappointment will subside and they will remember the early debates between Barack and Hilary where each candidate had a hard time tearing apart the others ideas... Mainly because they were so similar. After all, didn't they support Mrs. Clinton based on her ideas and not her gender?

Barack Obama won people's hearts because he speaks to the American people in a way we haven't had for the past 8 years. He is intelligent, articulate, and inspiring. And he's new. He was right last night to say that his popularity is not as much about him as it was about the American people. We are hungry for inspiration. Starving for different direction. We need to believe that we can change. The past 8 years have been riddled the politics of fear. Of dubious decision-making with disasterous results. Can we change that? What makes Obama so special is he says he has the answer.

Yes we can.

9:22 a.m., sitting in a courtroom

2008-08-22T09:18:00.002-05:00

I'm watching a DWI sentencing as I await my tardy clients in the courtroom. Fridays in the HCGC always have this laid-back feel to them. Offers are better, prosecutors are more willing to listen to what you have to say, judges are more likely to be sympathetic...

Everyone in the gallery is watching this woman squirm in front of the judge like they're watching an episode of Judge Judy. The private attorney representing her is revealing a lot about her personal life - struggling for money, filed for bankruptcy, yadda yadda yadda. Theater of the living.

I snuck in a cup of coffee. I really want to take a sip, but the judge is sitting on the bench and I'm not sure if he'd be cool with it. Screw it, I'm thirsty and need the caffeine. Eh, he doesn't care. How is it that I always get the drippy cap on my coffee? I really wish my clients would get here - I've already negotiated sweet offers on their cases.

Alrighty - enough waiting here. I'm off to another courtroom to wait for other clients. Sigh.

I'm totally going to beat him up outside by the flagpole at 3 p.m.

2008-08-06T09:28:00.002-05:00

Last night was the August 2008 edition of Brit's Pub Trivia. My team was prepared to battle in all its glory, it was to be the first time we would all be there since the commencement of summer.

Jake and I arrived early, both to take advantage of some patio time, but also to save our tables. The custom at Brits is that teams come early to stake their tables, and save them by writing their team name on a napkin or other piece of paper and setting it in full view on the table.

There is one table my team generally likes in the Brits Clubhouse. It's round and a little bigger than the others. We like it because when we eat, we still have some elbow room to write answers down. So, I wrote our team name in BIG BOLD LETTERS on a napkin and set it atop the ketchup bottle so it would be prominantly visible. Jake did the same at his table. We then stepped out onto the patio to enjoy the weather and sat at a table where I could still glance into the Clubhouse and see if my teammates had arrived.

About 15 minutes after we were enjoying the summer afternoon, I noticed someone was sitting at our table. Through the glare of the window, I a striped button-down dress shirt, worn in such a way as to insinuate it's wearer thought he had more fashion sense than he actually did. I went back into the Clubhouse, marched straight up to the table and said, "I saved this table. I wrote our team name on a napkin. Where is it?"

The guy was definitely bigger than me and didn't lift his eyes from his Blackberry. He madly scrolled through whatever nonsense was on the screen, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I didn't see anything." I responded, "It was right here. I left it here." He said, "I've been here 15 minutes and I haven't seen anything." He was lying. I knew it. I deal with criminals all day, this giant douchebag wasn't fooling me.

I approached the server, a nice young guy with a moustache, and asked if he moved it. He said he hadn't. Angrily, and about 2 feet away from my table, I loudly asked, while pointing "Did that guy move it???" That Guy was now apparently reading an email that a close family member had died considering the intensity that he was examining his Blackberry screen. The waiter, who saw that I knew That Guy was the culprit, walked over to the table immediately behind the douche's seat. Definitely not the table I had chosen. He saw a napkin, picked it up and said, "Yes he did, and he flipped it over too." Keep in mind, my conversation with this server is taking place within a 2 foot radius of That Guy. He can hear everything we're saying, but God help him, that Blackberry is damn interesting.

I took the napkin with our team name on it, and stomped over to a new table. Glaring at That Guy, I set it on the new table. I walked back outside, and as I passed my table I said, "Thanks, asshole." I then proceeded to stare at the back of That Guy's head while I shoved chicken fingers into my face.

I cannot express how angry I was. Not only did That Guy move my sign, thereby disrupting the entire sense of decency and respect that embodies Brits Triva, but apparently he was flabbergasted that he would get caught. I couldn't believe how juvenile it all seemed. And I am mad at myself for not saying something more, but what could I do? He denied everything... My only consolation was that his team sucked ass at trivia.

But really, I wanted my "gotcha" moment. What would you have done? I'm going to need ideas for next month...

Goodnight, Sophia Patrillo

2008-07-22T13:47:00.003-05:00

I don't think I can even tell you how sad this makes me.

But, I prefer to remember the good times:

'Zausted

2008-07-18T10:09:00.003-05:00

This Lyme Disease thing is exhausting. Work has been exhausting. Lyme disease and work are both exhausting. Here's a day's example from this past week:

6:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off. My entire body is screaming go back to sleep! I remember I have to be in court at 8:30 a.m. I literally have to throw myself out of bed.

6:30 a.m. - About to get out of the shower. Realize I've only shaved one leg. Turn shower back on, and finish the job.

7:30 a.m. - Take Lyme meds, slip on ear buds, listen to NPR's "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me!" as I walk to work. Dick Durbin is hilarious.

8:00 a.m. - Get to the office, sip coffee, check emails put together the day's files - two buildings, 5 appearances. Sweet.

8:05 a.m. - Tummy is feeling queazy. Realize I took meds on empty stomach. Find goldfish crackers in my desk, promptly stuff into my face.

8:30 a.m. - At the PSF for the day's first appearance. Domestic Assault. Get a decent offer considering the allegations and independent witnesses. Client wants his trial. Set the trial - he says "That's my birthday! I'll plead if I have to come on my birthday." I told him that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. End up setting the trial on my birthday so he can have his.

9:25 a.m. - Still waiting in PSF to appear in court to set the trial date. Judge has not come to the building yet. I'm now a 1/2 hour late for my next appearance. Brought my laptop - I email the next judge's clerk explaining my tardiness.

9:40 a.m. - Bounding out of the PSF in 3-inch heels to the Government Center. Client's friend starts hooting at me in a lewd manner. I yell back, "Grow up, sir!" and cross the street.

9:45 a.m. - At the next courtroom. Client pacing in front of the door. Starts yelling at me as soon as I arrive. "Where have you been I have to work! The prosecutor is in there talking trash about me!" I calm him down, tell him I'll be right back, and head inside.

10:00 a.m. - Prosecutor informs me there is now new evidence and potential federal charges. If client pleads in state court he'll get 5 years with good time. If he's convicted federally, he's facing 15 years with no good time. What does he want to do? We set a continuted appearance so I can review the new evidence.

10:25 a.m. - Get yelled at by client for allowing "hearsay" evidence to put him in prison for 15 years. I tell him we'll get the evidence and then talk about what it means for him.

10:50 a.m. - Grab pre-plea investigation reports for two of my clients and a competency evaluation for another. Crazy guy is apparently faking it - uh, doesn't so much explain the years of psychiatric care, but ok? Pre-plea recommendations - one good, one bad.

11:00 a.m. - Talk to families of two clients sitting in the courtroom and explain what I'm hoping will happen.

11:15 a.m. - Speak with prosecutors on the two pre-plea cases. Negotiate possible resolutions. Agree to come back at 1:15 p.m. to see if they will resolve.

11:40 a.m. - Call missing prosecutor for competency evaluation. Tell him to come down.

11:45 a.m. - Missing prosecutor arrives, apologizes for forgetting appearance. I request a pre-plea for him, but also tell the court I'll be having a private evaluation done. Faking my ass! Pick a new court date.

11:55 a.m. - Go down to court holding to talk to all three clients. Tell the crazy guy our plan, he's as cool with it as a crazy guy can be. Tell Good Recommendation Guy the negotiation - he wants to take the deal. We fill out a plea petition. Bad Recommendation Guy asks me to try and get less time - I say I'll try. He's so nice, I hope I can do better for him.

12:40 p.m. - Stop to get food on the way back to the office.

12:45 p.m. - Stuff food into face while prepping the afternoon's cases and making phone calls.

1:15 p.m. - Back in court, talk to families.

1:20 p.m. - Good Recommendation Client puts in plea and is sentenced.

1:25 p.m. - Go back in chambers on Bad Recommendation Client. Get more prison time knocked off the offer.

1:35 p.m. - Back down in holding, talk to Bad Recommendation Client. He decides to take the new offer. I try to tell him we might do better if we push the case to trial - the facts of the case are so weird! But, he wants to get it over with now. We fill out plea petition, with me asking him "Are you sure?" after every line.

1:50 p.m. - Still in holding, talking to an afternoon client. Woman is clinically depressed, extremely unstable, and drug addicted. Also prone to anxiety-induced asthma attacks. I tell her I've gotten her into drug court and treatment. Prosecutor is willing to save her from prison. She is excited, but extremely nervous that she's going to prison in another county. I reassure her it's a good sign they are willing to quash their county's warrant to let her get help. I anxiously eye the cut-marks up and down her arms. We fill out a plea petition.

2:20 p.m. - Back to court to put in plea on Bad Recommendation Client. I tell his girlfriend the negotiation that he's taking. She cries, I hug her. Her daughter starts playing with my hair. I let her.

2:40 p.m. - Bad Recommendation Client enters in plea. He tearfully asks if he could hug his daughter before going to prison. The judge refuses. I start to choke up - he's such a nice guy. Daughter screams out, "Daddy!" My heart breaks.

3:00 p.m. - Down in property/drug pre-trials. Prosecutor isn't there - I'm sooo late for our 1:30 p.m. appearance. I call the prosecutor, he'll be right down.

3:15 p.m. - Prosecutor shows, we talk about case. I tell him I have the petition signed and ready to go. We talk to the judge, he concurrs with the recommendation.

3:45 p.m. - Mentally Ill Lady puts in plea. Takes a long time. She's shaking and about to have an anxiety attack. I put my arm around her. I answer all her questions as completely and calmly as I can as we go through the paper work. It takes awhile, but we finally get through it.

4:20 p.m. - Walk back to the office. Check my voicemails. Call other County about Mentally Ill Lady's hold. They agree to ask for the warrant to be quashed and a new court-date set so she can go to treatment. Talk to a dispositional advisor about a another client. Respond to emails piled up in my inbox. Read through the next day's client files.

5:30 p.m. - Lock up computer and pack up my things. I realize I'm competely exhausted - almost to tired to walk home. But, I know I have to do it cause that's where my bed is.

10:00 p.m. - In bed. Asleep. Finally.

Now with the fresh taste of Lymon!

2008-07-11T10:26:00.003-05:00

Remember when I beeyotched and moaned about my numerous bug bites? Tuesday evening, I was sitting outside at Azia when I started feeling extremely itchy on the back of my right arm. I kept complaining I was getting bit by mosquitos. Everyone at the table looked at me like I was an alien. "Mariam," Jake said, "There are no bugs out here." I thought they were crazy, then what the hell is going on?

I drove my sister back to the RST on Wednesday and had dinner with the family. My bug bites were the furthest thing from my mind thanks to some aloe-enriched calamine lotion. I drove back to MSP and checked the comments on my blog. On the last post, Big Daddy commented that the bug bite on my chest sounded a lot like a symptom of Lyme Disease. Curious, I Googled the disease and looked at the pictures... My God, my "spider bite" looked a lot like those pictures! I noticed that the "bug bite" on the back of my right arm was now a huge rash spreading over the back of my arm and about 1000-degrees Farenheit to the touch.

Paranoid and frantic, I called my #1 doctor (my dad) and explained my self-diagnosis. I emailed him a picture of both wounds. He told me to see someone in the morning. The next morning, I walked to the Minute Clinic in the Oracle Building. The nurse practitioner took one look at it and said, "That is consistent with Lyme Disease. You need to go see a doctor today. If your doctor can't see you, go to urgent care." OMG, WHAT?!

I ran to the office, called my doctor's office, and they had an appointment available that afternoon. I went and told the doctor everything. She looked at my arm-rash and boob-bite. She asked about other physical symptoms - aside from fatigue I didn't really have any. She left the room for 10 minutes - during which time I promptly fell asleep in the examination room. When she came back she said, "I'm fairly confident in diagnosing you with Lyme Disease without a blood-test. Let's start treatment immediately."

So I probably have Lyme Disease. And if I do have it, I was probably exposed to it about 2 weeks ago, so I caught it in its very early stages. 21 days of antibiotics and I should be fine. But, I owe a big thanks to Big Daddy whose comment made me check things out.

Thanks, Big Daddy!

Ugh.

2008-07-09T11:51:00.002-05:00

In the past week, I have driven to Rochester and back twice.

I have a spider bite on my left boob that has left me with concentric red circles in a 2-inch diameter.

I have 5 mosquito bites on top of my feet. One on the sole of my right foot. Two on the back of my left arm. One on my stomach. Two on the back of my left knee. And one on my right gluteus maximus. Guess which one itches the most?

I had a full morning of court today and a full day of arraignments tomorrow.

And did I mention I have to drive to Rochester and back *again* today?

Pardon me while I scratch myself.

Ugh.

Perchance to dream

2008-06-30T14:54:00.002-05:00

For the life of me, I could not get a decent night's sleep last week. No matter what time I would try and hit the hay, my mind would begin to race the minute I began to sift into slumber. One night I woke up every hour on the hour until I finally fell into an unsatisfying coma at 4 a.m. And of course I had to be at work every day at 8:30 a.m.

Sunday night, I thought it was simply a fluke. I had a nightmare that someone had broken into my apartment and was stealthily creeping towards my bedroom to attack me. I shot up awake in a cold sweat with the realization that I had left my front door unlocked. Scared and in my skivies, I tiptoed in the darkness, armed with my cell phone, and quietly locked the front door. I then threw all the lights on and did a thorough search of every corner of my 1,100 square feet. Didn't say I was rational - afterall it was 3 a.m.

Monday night, I woke up twice during the night for no apparent reason other than a restless mind. Tuesday night, the same thing occurred. I cannot even describe how I felt on Wednesday without a good night's sleep in three days. My alarm went off and I almost started to cry. I slid myself to the floor from between my covers like a lethargic serpent and slithered into the bathroom to shower. I had a handful of shampoo in my hand before I realized I still had my bra on. Out of sheer necessity, my body let me sleep throughout Thursday night, but taunted me with a severe lack of REM. It wasn't until Friday night that I finally got a good night's sleep, and I'll credit that to one of the two blackberry cosmopolitans I had with dinner.

I still think there's someone lurking in my closet.

Where in the world was Mariam?

2008-06-23T22:20:00.005-05:00

Posting has been light the last fortnight. Alas, I had to succumb to the due dilligence of any daughter to her father when her parents decide to join the swarms of snowbirds to the sun belt... The cross-country road trip. That's right, I drove from Minneapolis, MN to Scottsdale, AZ. In three days. With my dad.

I left work in MSP at about 3 p.m. on a Friday. Padre and I were Iowa bound by 5:30 p.m. We hit Des Moines hours before the floods crested. Behold, the waterlogged farmcountry:

We drove all the way through Iowa and made it to Grand Island, NE by 2 a.m., stopping only for gas and dinner. We fell asleep, exhausted, at the off-interstate Holiday Inn Express (which has a pretty kickass complimentary breakfast by the way). Early the next morning, we were off, GPS guiding the way. We drove through Colorado which pretty much looked like this:

Long stretches of land and tons of cows. More desolate than I pictured actually. We had an automotive incident in Colorado Springs where we had to stop for a few hours. The problem? Our brake pads melted. I'm telling you, it was hot and getting hotter by the mile. But, the car was repaired and we made it to Santa Fe at about 11 p.m. the second night. Since we had made better time than we imagined, the next morning, we strolled around Santa Fe. Beautiful city.

Mmm... Popcorn...

Either way, we started off at noon and made it to the fair city of Scottsdale before sunset. 110-degrees. But, I finally understood what all these blowhards were talking about when they said "dry heat". 110-degrees is much more bareable in AZ than MN. Mainly because you can sweat and have it evaporate. Nature's freon. When we got to the house, my jaw dropped. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the backyard:

Although we had to do a lot of work for the house - electronics, housewares, unpacking, etc... I still got a chance to use that beautiful pool once a day. And eat at In n' Out Burger... Mmmm...

I was sad to leave the bathwater-warm pool and come back on Wednesday. I had a slew of serious felony appearances Thursday and Friday to look forward to. But, I had been trying to keep up by checking email while away. So, I was nice and prepared to deal with the abreviated work week upon my return.

And there was some happy news when I returned... I got to celebrate the engagement of Betsey and Imran! The happy couple toasted the occasion with the finest champagne Otho had to offer Friday night (btw - great bartender!).

And to top off the crazy past 8 days, I got to wind down listening to some of my favorite musical artists at Rock the Garden all day Saturday... And the weather was gorgeous! Check out the smiles on those faces:

Sigh... I love summer :)

Safe, for now

2008-06-10T13:16:00.003-05:00

I am safe. Well, at least my job is.

After considerable cutbacks to the Minnesota State PD Budget, they only have to cut 23 public defenders statewide. However, we are losing about 53 full time PD's total thanks to other options (voluntary 1-year leave, early retirement, etc.). Our office in Hennepin County is already 14.5 full-time positions in the hole, so we were spared. Caseload and arraignment relief is nowhere in sight. We had to cut all contracts for our conflicts cases (so God only knows what we will do with those).

It's going to be a hard summer across the state. It will be even more difficult because of the increase in charged crimes in the summer months.

Bad precedent officially set

2008-06-03T11:47:00.002-05:00

I lost at the Court of Appeals.

I need to digest the opinion before I can properly ascertain just how bad this precedent is for the rights of people in Minnesota.

My first instinct is that this is so, so, so bad.